So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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