I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
