That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
