you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
