Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
