U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
