i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
