girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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