my vag is so smooth its legendary
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
