There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
