my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
