Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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