that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
