the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I touched a dick in church today
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
