Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
