I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
