my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
