Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
