Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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