you didnt know i had herpes?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just pee around me
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
