It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
