dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
