So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Terrible idea I love it
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize