We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
