I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I need water and some morals
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
