She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
