I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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