He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
