Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
How naked do you want me to be?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
