Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I got inside last night via doggy door
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
