I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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