what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
