I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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