I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
