This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
