You smell like a Billy Joel song
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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