You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
