Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You can't special order awesome
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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