Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
