I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
