Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
