Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
