its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
