i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Semen is not good for contacts.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize