yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
