my phone needs a breathalizer
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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