either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
