I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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