the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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