She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
