i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
