wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
