This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize