6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
