I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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