She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
