How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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