I want to stick my p in your. b.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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