Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
