she was so not down for the gang bang
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
