His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
