I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
