You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
