He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
