Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
